The Frustration of Change
Considering CHANGE, it becomes obvious that we all have very different concepts and ideas about “WHAT should be changed, WHY is change needed, and HOW change should happen”.
Personal change often begins after a “choice has been made” (of course there is a lot of change that happens without choice or even consent), but who makes that decision about what is going to change, when and how it’s going to happen…it must be the individual who is going to benefit from the change..!
Some one might look at my life and see areas that either need to change, or that could benefit from change. They might see potential that is untapped, or opportunities that I might be missing, or things that are just so wrong, that to them, changing this or that would seem like an obvious thing to do.
They might suggest or give certain advice, that for them will help or encourage these potential changes to take place…but what if I disagree, or what if I see things differently to them, or what if I have different values and priorities to them, what if the things they see as areas that need change, are perfectly ok for me..! There will be very little point in them pursuing what is in reality, their interests, when I am not as interested as they are in this particular area.
I can preach, teach and encourage people with the subject of change, hoping to inspire or motivate people towards change, but I can’t choose “the change” for some one else. They must choose the change for themselves. They must identify the area, if any, that needs to change.
The inspiration for change can come from any number of places, but the choice to change, can only really come from one place, and that’s from within the individual.
Once they have made the choice to change, now I might get the chance to assist in the change process and through discussion can give suggestions and share ideas, but even now I can’t direct the change.
Most people enjoy and want the freedom of choice, and often if a person feels that something is being pushed upon them, they subconsciously and automatically begin to resist…this of course is not helpful to anyone.
I can discuss and suggest many ideas, steps and ways to see this change come to fruition, but all the way through the process, the individual must be free to, and even encouraged to, choose what they do next.
If the person looses “the choice”, they might conform willingly or begrudgingly for a time, as there might be some short term benefit for them to do this, but they will more than likely revert back to what they were before over time.
Change can’t be forced on someone, it must be chosen by them.
This can sometimes be the Frustration of Change.